‘Hullo, Mr Guthrie,' said Lucas as he passed the bakery, which was its usual colourful, friendly self again.
'Hnnhuur,' said Guthrie, painting prices on the window with whitewash.
'Are you all right?' said Lucas, shocked at the usually rosy-cheeked baker's pallid face. 'You look awful, and it sounds like you've got a sore throat.'
'Nnuurgh,' said Guthrie.
'Oh,' said Lucas, unsure what to say to that. ‘Honey and lemon, that should sort you out.'
'Uuurrgh.’
'Poor man,' said Lucas, walking to the newsagents in search of nicotine, a paper, and a bag of sweets. 'I hope not catching.'
'Hullo, Mr Featherstone,' called Lucas as he stepped into the dark, dusty interior of the shop. He pulled a copy of The Times from the rack and glanced at the cover. 'Silk Cuts and a quarter of barley twists, please.'
'Huurgh,' said Featherstone.
Lucas looked up from the paper.
'A bug going round, is there?' he said.
'Nhrgh.'
'I... see,' said Lucas, not sure that he did. He pulled some coins from his pocket and put them on the counter.
'Keep the change,' he said, taking his purchases. 'You need a day off, if you ask me.'
Lucas stumbled back outside and coughed experimentally, hoping he’d imagined a tickle at the back of his throat. He popped a barley twist into his mouth, thinking sugar would soothe any impending soreness.
Clara stood outside his office.
'Hullo,' she said. 'Look like it's the undead today.'
Lucas swallowed the sweet whole.
'Undead?' he wheezed, coughing violently. 'What do you mean, undead?'
'Everyone is fit for the grave, but won’t stay in one.'
'It's not a cold going round the village?'
'No,' said Clara. 'It’s zombie-itis going round the village.'
'You made that up.'
'Yes,' she said, quite patiently under the circumstances. 'Yes I did. But they’re not violent, just... shamble-y.'
'I hope we don't catch it too,’ said Lucas.
'It's not ‘flu, dear,' said Clara. 'So we’re probably okay.'
'Probably?'
Clara sighed, and appealed to a higher power.
'Hi, Saff?' she said. 'You won’t turn us into zombies too, will you?'
'Not today,' said their kind and gracious author.
'What do you mean, "Not today?!"' said Lucas.
Hey look, Lucas is learning! Wonder how long that'll last...?
Thanks for reading, see you again tomorrow! Saff x
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